


Small and Smaller: Paranormal Investigators

by AwkwardPotatoChild



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Babysitting, Cute, Cute Kids, Cutesy, Gen, I mean, a capybara goes missing for a bit, but yeah, i don't even know what else to tag this with, it's adorable, it's robert taking care of river, there's not really much else i can tag this with, this is just a cute fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 02:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13354233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardPotatoChild/pseuds/AwkwardPotatoChild
Summary: When Arnold the Capybara goes missing, there are only two people qualified to find him...or alternatively, Robert has to take care of River for the day





	Small and Smaller: Paranormal Investigators

**Author's Note:**

> First new fic of the year! Yay!  
> I've actually been working on this since last year and planned on having it up by then, but well...you see where we are now.
> 
> Anyway, this is just a cute little fic. Nothing more to it.  
> If there are any mistakes, please let me know. I don't have a beta. I also kind of rushed this because I wanted it up, so yeah.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Five more minutes…”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“I said five more minutes…”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

“Jesus, fuck! I’m up! I’m up!”

Robert groaned as he rolled off his couch and onto the floor. He slowly made his way up and stretched. He yawned, feeling various joints and muscles pop and ache. Checking the time, he groaned again when he realized it wasn’t even noon yet, far too early for him to be up, but if it meant shutting up whoever was at his door, then he guess he had to. Mumbling to himself, Robert stomped over to his front door, Betsy running around his feet, and yanked it open, ready to yell at whoever was there for waking him up.

“I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling!”

“Oh thank god! You’re home!”

Robert shook his head, trying to recall why the voice sounded so familiar. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and finally realized it was Craig, one of the other dads in the cul-de-sac. He looked frazzled and panicky, the complete opposite of the baby strapped to his chest who was babbling happily, unaware of anything that might be wrong.

“Uhh...why are you-?”

“Look, dude,” interrupted Craig, “the twins got into some trouble at school. It’s a huge problem. I can’t take River with me, but no one else is home, so could you please look after her for me?”

“Umm…

“Great. Thanks! I owe you!”

Before Robert could register what was happening, he suddenly found himself awkwardly holding a wiggling baby in front of him as Craig took off the baby carrier. That was then placed on top of a giant bag that Craig had placed on the ground.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. Wait a minute. I didn’t-”

“River is normally pretty well-behaved, so don’t worry. She ate this morning, but if I’m not back by noon, you’ll need to feed her then. She tends to not really have a favorite, but she really likes applesauce. She’ll normally fall asleep after that, but if she doesn’t, just put on some quiet music and she’ll be out in a flash. Food and diapers and everything else are in the bag. If she starts to cry, Arnold the Capybara is in the bag too. Just give him to her and she’ll be fine.”

“I don’t-”

“Thanks again, dude. I gotta go now. Text me if you need anything. I’ll try to be back soon. River, be a good girl. Daddy loves you. Okay? Bye! See ya later, dude!”

Robert stood there, staring in shock as Craig drove off into the distance. What the hell just happened? River continued to wiggle about in Robert’s hands, feeling restless. Her babbling was what finally reminded Robert that this situation was actually happening and that his neighbor just dropped his child off for him to take care of. Oh lord. Shifting her into a more comfortable position, Robert closed the door and turned to look at his mess of a house.

“Oh boy,” he muttered.

Robert looked down at the baby on his hip who was looking up at him curiously, clearly wondering why she was no longer with her dad. Betsy was still running around his feet, trying to figure out who this tiny little human was. He shooed her away, watching as she sniffed the giant bag. He then sighed and looked back towards the mess in his living room. Walking around, Robert tried to find a clear place for him to set River down, while he cleaned up a bit for her. It’s not that he had anything dangerous lying around, but between the dirty clothing and empty bottles, it was best to be safe than sorry. He hastily shoved aside some of the things left on the couch where he had been sleeping and set her down. Robert took a step back as he placed her in a sitting position, leaning against the arm of the couch. River looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Stay.”

River continued stared at him for a beat before smiling broadly. “Goo!” she exclaimed, clapping her tiny hands.

Robert sighed once again and shook his head. “Just...stay there, kid.”

Robert turned away and began cleaning up around his living room, which basically meant he was going to throw everything into his room and close the door. He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was only 11 o’clock on a Tuesday. He was supposed to be sleeping, not taking care of a baby. This was a complete waste of his time and he hated it, but he knew he couldn’t just leave the kid to fend for herself. He sighed again before quickly moving about, gathering as much as he could and unceremoniously throwing it all on his bed. Heading back to the living room, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that River had remained seated where he had left her and was now examining her foot.

Betsy suddenly shot out from somewhere behind him and he made a small noise in surprise. Robert watched as the dog then made her way over to the couch, staring curiously at the tiny human. River finally noticed Betsy staring up at her and stopped her previous task, deciding to now stare at the dog, both of them tilting their heads in curiosity. They appeared to be doing alright, so he went off to double check everything for River. He was midway through another lap around the living room when he noticed Betsy jump onto the couch next to River, sniffing at her curiously. Suddenly, paternal worry he didn’t know he had ran through him and he found himself headed in their direction instead.

“Wait. Betsy, no! We don’t eat babies!” he scolded.

He started heading over to move Betsy away from River. He watched as his dog continued to sniff her curiously, trying to figure out what exactly she was. He knew Betsy was well-behaved and wouldn’t do any harm to the small child, but he didn’t want to risk getting into trouble with Craig. With how much that man worked out, Robert definitely didn’t want to get into a fight with him. River and Betsy continued their staring contest, so Robert stood off to the side, watching them carefully. However, his concern shifted when River reached her hand out towards Betsy’s ear. He’d seen enough children interacting with animals to know that this might not end well.

“Wait. Kid, no! We don’t mess with animals like that!”

Robert’s exclamation made River stop midway and turn towards him with wide eyes. For a brief moment, he thought he was in the clear until Betsy took that chance to move closer to River.

“Betsy, don’t-!”

To his surprise, Betsy began licking River’s hand, who then began giggling happily at the ticklish feeling. Once Betsy was done, River reached over and gently patted the top of Betsy’s head, showing her love for the dog. Betsy then moved closer snuggling up next to River, who was more than happy to have the dog by her side. Befuddled, all Robert could do was stare.

“Well...I’m glad you two are getting along then.”

“Bah!”

Robert couldn’t help but chuckle at River’s response, almost as if she had been scolding him for doubting her. Shaking his head, Robert sighed. This was gonna be a long day and he needed all the help he could get. He then reached for his phone that he had set on his coffee table earlier and quickly began calling the one person he knew who should’ve been able to help him in this sort of situation. He paced the room impatiently as he waited for his call to go through, occasionally glancing at River and Betsy.

“Hello?”

“Mary!” sighed Robert. “Oh thank god. I’m glad you answered.”

“Smalls? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I should be, but I can’t. Listen. I need your help taking care of a child.”

“A child?” She paused. “You know Val is an adult, right?”

Robert rolled his eyes. “Yes. I am, in fact, well aware that my daughter is an adult. I meant I need your help taking care of an actual child. Like a baby.”

“...Did you knock someone up?”

“No, Mary. I did  _ not _ knock someone up. Craig had an emergency and dumped his kid on me.”

“Who the fuck is Craig?”

Robert groaned. Is this headache because of his hangover or something else?

“It’s Kale, Mary.”

“Oh! Kale! That dude! Wow. Okay.”

“Yeah. Anyway, the guy had an emergency or something and no one else is around, so I gotta take care of his kid now. So help me. Please. You’ve got five kids, so another for the next couple of hours won’t be too much trouble, right?”

Robert didn’t have to see her to know that Mary was rolling her eyes.

“Okay. First off, I technically have four kids. I know you know that. Second, did you forget where I am right now?”

Robert’s silence was enough to answer Mary’s question. He heard her groan on the other side.

“If I were at home, do you really think Kale would’ve dropped his kid off at your place instead of mine?”

“...Shit,” groaned Robert.

“Yeah. Shit. I’m off on that Jesus retreat thing with Joseph and the kids. I can’t actually help you, Smalls.”

This day is just getting better and better.

“Well...could you at least give me some tips? I obviously don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Make sure she doesn’t die,” deadpanned Mary.

Robert rolled his eyes. “Gee. Thanks, Mary. That was  _ so _ helpful.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Mary, seriously though,” pleaded Robert. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, so help.”

“Robert, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Mary, please-”

“Knowing Kale, he probably left you with like a list of instructions and he’s probably, like, super prepared too, so just follow whatever directions he gave you and you’ll be alright. Okay?”

“Yeah,” sighed Robert, “but still-”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. You know how to change a diaper, so that’s one thing you don’t have to worry about. Just don’t kill the kid.”

“Mary-”

“I gotta go. There’s more Jesus shit going on and I gotta go get drunk on communion wine now.”

“What the- You’re not even Catholic, Mary! No one in your family is!”

“Whatever. Good luck with everything, Smalls.”

“Mary, no-”

It was too late. Mary had already hung up and all Robert could do was groan. He had a feeling that’s all he’d be doing today. What the hell was he going to do now?

Sighing once more, Robert put his phone in his pocket and went towards River and Betsy. He stared at them curiously, not knowing what to do now. The two appeared to be engaged in some sort of odd conversation with River babbling away as Betsy listened, but as Robert got closer, Betsy jumped down from the couch. She looked between the empty spot and him, silently telling him to sit next to River as she watched them from the ground. Once seated, River’s babbling stopped and she looked up at him curiously. Robert braced himself for potential crying, but instead, River continued to stare at him. He scratched at his cheek awkwardly.

“Umm...hi?”

River tilted her head to the side adorable before smiling brightly. She then giggled and clapped her hands excitedly. Robert gave a small smile as he watched her. Alright. She’s pretty cute. He’d give her that. River began babbling again and Robert nodded and hummed in agreeance at whatever she was trying to tell him. He was certain she held secrets to this universe that he would need later anyway.

Suddenly, River stopped her babbling and reached her hands out towards him. Not fully understanding how gravity worked just yet, River leaned forward a bit too far and fell over on the couch. River didn’t seem to care and was still giggling happily, but fear ran through Robert when he saw this happen and he was immediately trying to help her sit back up.

“Woah! Hey, kid. Careful there. Don’t want you getting hurt or anything.”

“Bloop!” responded River, as if trying to reassure him that she was just fine. She then leaned forward once again, reaching for him once more. This time, when she fell, her hands landed on Robert’s thigh.

“You need help there, kid?”

Robert tried to help her up again, but her little hand swatted her away. Realizing that she didn’t need any help, Robert decided to let her do her thing, but continued watching her carefully. She then used his thigh to push herself up and onto his lap. She stumbled as she did so and Robert finally decided to intervene then. Picking her up, he set her in his lap, facing him. Once seated, she looked up at him brightly, waiting for praise that Robert readily gave.

“Good job there, River.”

River smiled and wiggled about happily in Robert’s lap. He couldn’t help but share in her excitement as well. Robert was usually wary about kids, having dealt with Mary’s spawns, and he was worried that River would be like them. But Craig was right. River wasn’t raising hell like Mary’s kids were and for that Robert was thankful. This babysitting thing might not be so bad afterall. She was definitely growing on him.

Robert was brought back to reality when he felt tugging on his jacket. Looking down, he saw River attempting to pull herself up and try to stand. Her tiny hands continued to pull her up until she could reach his shoulders and fully stand. She was pretty stable for the most part, but Robert held onto her, just in case. Once standing, Robert watched as River looked around curiously, taking in her surroundings brought on by her newfound height. She then giggled happily as she hit her hands on his shoulder in excitement.

“Yeah,” chuckled Robert. “You did it!”

River continued looking all around the room, twisting and turning. Her wide eyes took in the new space around her. Satisfied, River began climbing back down and Robert helped her sit back down in his lap. However, that didn’t seem to be her goal and she continued moving until she was back on the couch instead. She then began crawling towards the edge of the couch, wanting to get down. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to, Robert immediately picked her up and set her down instead. He placed her next to Betsy, who he believed was her intended target. However, River didn’t look at the dog and instead, began crawling away. She then made it over to the coffee table before she stopped and looked towards Robert.

“Go ahead,” said Robert, after he realized that she was looking for his approval. “You’re alright. I’m still here.”

With that, River put her tiny hands on the coffee table’s legs. She carefully pulled herself up like she had before and was now standing. Robert watched carefully as she held onto the table and looked around, and Betsy was now by her side as well. The coffee table was shorter than she was, so River looked around at all of the things that Robert hadn’t bothered cleaning up fully. She then reached out a small hand towards one of the many wooden figurines that Robert had carved out.

Robert expected River to maybe reach for the rabbit that he had carved last week or maybe the one he just finished of Betsy the other day, but instead, River reached for the weird half-finished blob that he had been working on last night. Robert frowned, not really expecting her to grab that when there were other figures, and even though she was a baby, he kind of wanted her approval for the other figurines, not the unfinished one.

River held the wooden blob closer to her face and peered at it curiously. She turned it all about in her hand before turning to Robert with a cheerful smile. Holding up the figure proudly, she waved it all about, showing him what she had found. She then tried to make her way over to where he was, but since she didn’t know how to walk yet, Robert simply picked her up and placed her back in his lap. River continued showing him the figure.

“Ba!” she exclaimed as she wriggled around in excitement.

“Yeah. I see that,” said Robert. He smiled at her enthusiasm. “But maybe you’ll like this one a bit better, kid.”

Robert reached for the rabbit figurine on the table, while still balancing River in his lap. He then held up the rabbit in front of River, hoping to catch her attention, off the weird blob, and onto something that was actually finished.

“See? It’s a rabbit. It’s cute. Right?”

River stared intently at the new object in front of her with wide eyes. Robert waited for her to take it from him, but instead, she looked away and turned her attention back to the unfinished figurine that she had found earlier. Robert frowned slightly at this before placing the rabbit back on the table. He then reached for the Betsy figurine and held it up for her once again.

“Look! It’s Betsy! You like Betsy, right?”

River paused in her playing and stared at the new object once again. She then carefully reached for it with one of her hands, while the other still held the unfinished figure. Robert waited for River to toss aside the blob, but instead, she threw the Betsy figurine back onto the couch, which then bounced onto the floor. Robert stared at it in shock before turning back to River, who was giggling happily.

“Hey!” said Robert, pretending to be stern. “I worked hard on that, ya know!”

“Ba!” River responded. She waved the blob in front of his face once more.

Robert sighed and shook his head before giving her a small smile. “Well, I guess you can keep that then, if you like it so much.”

“Ba!” said River once more.

“Yeah. Yeah. I heard ya.”

River went back to playing with her new toy and Robert took the chance to briefly check his phone. He groaned when he saw that it was only 11:45. Not even an hour had passed since Craig came by to drop off River, but it somehow felt like 3 hours had gone by instead. Could this day go by any slower?

Robert sighed and looked over at Betsy, who was laying on the floor, watching him and River. He turned to River, who was still amused by her new toy, and smiled at her joy. River then turned to him and began babbling again as she showed him the blob and he nodded along to everything that she was saying, but then, River stopped mid-babble and stared at him oddly. Her happy expression from early suddenly transformed into one of tears and screaming and Robert was now in full panic mode. Not knowing what to do, Robert picked her up and began running around the room, hoping to somehow magical calm her down.

“Oh god. Oh god! What’s wrong, kid? What’s wrong?!”

River continued to cry even more, which further stressed Robert.

“Are you hungry? Do you want food? Is that it?”

Robert was frantically trying to come up with anything that might be the answer to River’s crying, hoping that she might be able to somehow respond to what he was saying. She only cried more and more as he ran around the room. Robert reached for his phone and was about to call for someone to help him, when a dreadful smell finally reached him.

“Oh no…”

He looked down at River, who was currently balanced on his hip. He slowly lifted her up to check for what he now believed was the culprit for her crying and groaned when he realized that he was right.

“Oh no.”

Putting her back on his hip, Robert grabbed the giant bag that Craig had left for him earlier and headed towards the bathroom. He quickly unzipped it and pulled out everything that he needed. Luckily, Mary was right and Craig was very well-prepared when packing this bag for River, so Robert was able to quickly pull out the portable changing pad, diapers, and wipes needed, and placed them all on the counter easily with a screaming child in his arm. He laid River down once the changing pad was on the counter and she calmed down considerably now that she was laying down, but she still fussed and moved about.

“I know, kid. I know,” mumbled Robert as he moved about. “I’m trying to get this done quickly too.”

Robert changed River’s diaper as fast as he could. She struggled a bit throughout, but nothing too bad. Although he and Val weren’t as close now, Robert was thankful that he at least took part in taking care of her when she was younger. He knew plenty of dads who wouldn’t even bother with learning how to change a diaper and he was glad to know he wouldn’t be grouped with them. It also saved him the trouble of having to call for help right now as well.

Robert finished quickly and was now washing his hands. Looking over, he realized that he had been so focused that he failed to notice that at some point, River had stopped crying and was now wriggling about as she stared at the ceiling. Feeling him staring at her, River looked over and giggled happily. She clapped her tiny hands and babbled at him as if trying to tell him thank you in her own little way. Robert dried his hands and immediately picked her up.

“There we go,” said Robert. “All better now. Right, kid?”

River cooed at Robert in response. He carried her and the bag back to the living room where Betsy was patiently waiting for them on the couch. Upon seeing them, Betsy immediately rushed over and ran around Robert, making sure that everything was alright. 

“We’re alright, Betsy. No worries,” reassured Robert.

The dog seemed to understand and went back to her place on the couch. Robert placed the bag on the coffee table before sitting down with River and moving her to his lap again. He handed her the wooden blob that she had thrown on the couch earlier and she immediately began playing with it once again. While River was occupied, Robert took the chance to check his phone and see if Craig had texted him or anything. Nothing. He glanced at the time and saw that it was now a little past 12 o’clock. Robert looked over at River who now had her hand in her mouth and was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Guess I better feed you now, huh?”

River paid no mind to what he said and continued her task of sucking on her hand. Knowing she would be alright with Betsy watching over her, Robert decided to set up everything beforehand in the kitchen for her. He had been worried that he would have to hold River in his lap and try to feed her, but Craig was always prepared and had packed a portable high chair for River that could easily be attached to one of the chairs in his dining room. Once done, he went back to the living room and found that Betsy had moved next to River, like he had expected her too. The two turned to look at him.

“Ready for some food, kid?”

River stopped sucking on her hand and seemed to perk up at bit as if understanding that it was time to eat. She pulled her hand out of her mouth and began clapping enthusiastically. Robert chuckled and went over to pick her up. He carried her over to the next room and set her in the chair. Once seated, River began to wriggle about in anticipation and babbled happily. Robert smiled at this and he smiled even more when he noticed that the bib had a lime flexing its arms with a caption that had “Lime strong” on it. Gotta love those puns.

“Remind me,” said Robert as he put on her bib, “to thank your dad because this day could’ve been way worse for the both of us.”

River seemed to nod, but that also could’ve been because she was still moving around impatiently. Robert grabbed the little container of baby food and opened one of them.

“Alright. Let’s see here,” he mumbled. “Your dad said you liked applesauce, but I don’t think he packed you any, so we’re gonna have to go with...chicken and vegetables.”

He grabbed the spoon that he had gotten out earlier and immediately, River began to wiggle about even more. She started squealing in excitement as well, clapping her hands.

“Alright, kid. Alright. I’m excited about food too.”

Robert got a spoonful of the baby food and guided it towards River’s mouth. The spoon finally reached her and her tiny mouth closed around it. She munched about happily, her little body moving with excitement. Robert laughed as he watched her happily eat, some of it getting all over her face. He reached for another spoonful, which she quickly ate as well. Seeing River enjoying her meal so much, Robert couldn’t help but smile, but he also couldn’t help but wonder if her food was as enjoyable as she made it seem.

“Wonder how this stuff tastes…”

As River ate her next bite, Robert couldn’t stop himself from putting a small dab of her baby food onto his finger. He sniffed at it carefully and found that it didn’t smell too bad. It couldn’t possibly taste that bad either since River seemed to be enjoying it. Not only that, it was just chicken and vegetables. How bad could that be?

Very bad, apparently, because as soon as it hit Robert’s tongue, he was rushing towards the sink to get himself a glass of water.

“Oh god. How do babies eat this stuff?”

Robert continued to gag and drink more water in an attempt to get the awful taste out of his mouth. He was definitely never doing that again. As the continued rinsing, he could hear River giggling and laughing at him and he looked over to see her waving hands. He pretended to glare at her.

“And what are you laughing at, kid?”

He grabbed a paper towel to wipe off his hands and face. River only laughed even more, her little legs kicking too. Robert smiled and shook his head.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Heading back to her, Robert continued feeding River the rest of her food. They finished quickly and soon, Robert was cleaning her up since her face was covered in food. He then finished cleaning up the rest of the things as well and the two of them were now heading back towards the living room.

“Alright. We’re all full now. Yeah?” asked Robert. “I think it’s time for us to take a nap.”

River stared up at him as he sat down with her on the couch. He could see that her big eyes were slowly growing heavy, like Craig had said, but there seemed to be something wrong still. Despite how tired she seemed, River was still moving about a bit too much and she seemed to be growing more restless.

“Hey. What’s wrong, River? You okay? You need something?”

River continued to move and fuss in his arms. She was now beginning to whine as well and it was clear that she was unhappy about something. He quickly did a smell check to see if that was the issue, but everything seemed to be alright there. Shifting her so that her head was resting on his shoulder, Robert stood up and began walking around the room as he bounced her lightly, in hopes of getting her to calm down. Instead, this seemed to make River even angrier and he could feel her small hands trying to hit him. Moving her again so that she was in his arms again, frustrated with not being understood, River began to cry and scream.

“Oh god. Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” asked Robert. He continued to try and soothe her, but she continued to cry and fuss.

“Ba!” River screamed.

“Ba?”

“Ba!” she repeated.

Looking around the room, Robert recalled how she called the figurine blob that earlier. He grabbed it from off the other side of the couch and showed it to her.

“Look, River,” said Robert as he waved the little figure. “Look. It’s ba! Ba!”

River momentarily stopped her screaming and looked to the thing in his hands. She reached out for it and he handed it to her. He watched as he examined it carefully and sighed in relief, but it seems he celebrated too early because River then threw the figure on the ground and began crying once more.

“Ba! Ba!” she repeated again.

“What the hell is Ba?!” asked Robert.

He continued walking around the room with her, trying to calm her down, while also giving him a moment to think. What does she want? She’s eaten. She doesn’t need her diaper changed. She got her-

Robert gasped when he recalled something that Craig had mentioned this morning. He rushed over to the giant bag he had left earlier and began rifling through it as quickly as he could.

“The capybara. The capybara!” he muttered. “I have to find the capybara!”

He moved around everything in the bag in search of the stuffed toy, but it didn’t seem to be in the bag. Robert knew this had to be a mistake on his part because Craig literally prepared for every possible situation, as seen earlier.

“Hold on, River. Hold on. I’m getting Arnold for you. Okay?”

This time, instead of moving things aside, Robert removed everything from the bag, figuring that he could just put it all back in later while River was asleep or something. However, with every object that Robert removed, there was still no sign of Arnold anywhere and he was growing more worried. He knew he was trouble the moment he reached the bottom of the bag and with no capybara in sight.

“Oh no.”

River seemed to sense his panic and took that moment to cry even louder. Robert still firmly believed that there was no way Craig could have forgotten to pack his child’s favorite toy, so he knew it had to be somewhere around the house. Not wanting to just leave her on the couch, but also aware that he was struggling to keep her still, Robert couldn’t believe that he was actually going to put on the baby carrier. He momentarily sat River down on the couch like he had earlier, so he could quickly put on the carrier. Once it was all adjusted for him, he tried to get her into it, but she continued to fight him, not understanding why she was being put in the carrier.

“I know. I know, River,” said Robert. “But you’re gonna have to sit and wait a moment. We’ll find Arnold. Okay? It’s just getting a bit hard to carry you and try to find things.”

River seemed to understand what he was trying to say and stopped fussing enough for Robert to get her into the carrier. She was still crying, but not as much as before.

“Thank you, River,” Robert said as he finished putting on the carrier. “You’re okay. We’re gonna find Arnold. Don’t worry.”

River seemed to calm down a bit more at his words and he sighed in relief. He heard the sound of footsteps heading towards him and looked over to see Betsy staring up at him expectantly.

“Alright. Ready, Betsy?” he asked.

She wagged her tail in response. Robert smiled at this and looked down at the baby strapped to his chest.

“Ready, River?”

She turned her head to look at him curiously. “Ba?”

“Good,” said Robert. “Alright. Time to find this capybara.”

Starting from the front door, Robert made his way from there into the living room with Betsy following closely behind him. Together the two moved towards the couch and the mess of things that Robert had pulled out of the bag earlier. He crouched down to get a better look at everything while Betsy sniffed about.

“Hmm,” mused Robert. “It’s certainly odd that Arnold wasn’t found amongst all of the things your dad packed, River.”

“Mleh?” asked River, confused.

“I agree. He would never do something like that.” He stood up after having inspected all of the things. “Your dad is too prepared. There’s no way he could have forgotten it. That means Arnold must have...”

“Ba!” exclaimed River. She had stopped crying, listening curiously as to what Robert was saying and wondering what he was doing in this odd investigator roleplay.

“That’s right, kid,” said Robert. “Arnold must have fallen out at some point. It’s possible that he could’ve fallen out while your dad was packing things or while he was heading over here, but I think that’s unlikely. No, I think that Arnold must have fallen out...here! In this house!”

“Bloo?” River asked.

Robert nodded. “Good idea, kid. We should definitely check the bathroom. I did carry the bag in there, so maybe Arnold got himself caught up in some towels.”

Robert headed towards the bathroom with Betsy close behind him. Once there, Robert checked all over the counter and floor for any signs of the capybara, but nothing. He even checked the cabinets and shower, despite knowing that it was unlikely.

“Well,” said Robert, “that didn’t help us, did it?”

“Baboo.”

“Yeah. You’re right. We can’t give up now. We have to keep moving. Come on, Betsy. We’re going to the kitchen next!”

The trio left the bathroom and into the kitchen. Heading towards the high chair, Betsy sniffed all about, hoping to find something. Robert checked the rest of the kitchen for any signs of Arnold, but found nothing there either.

“You got anything, Betsy?”

The dog huffed in response. Robert crouched down to pet her.

“It’s okay. We’ll find him. He’s gotta be somewhere in here.”

Standing up, Robert took a moment to think about his next action. He knew the bag had only been in the living room and bathroom. He had removed some things for when he had to change her diaper and for when he had to feed her. He wasn’t counting the living room in that since everything was clearly on display in there. Robert frowned as he continued to think. It made no sense for Arnold to be anywhere else besides those places. So why haven’t they found him yet? Where could he be? Suddenly, Betsy began pawing at his leg, trying to catch his attention.

“What is it, Betsy? You got a lead?”

Betsy wagged her tail and then went running off to another part of the house. Robert followed behind her closely, while River continued to worry about the whereabouts of her favorite toy. They soon stopped in front of Robert’s bedroom.

“The bedroom?” he asked. Robert looked at Betsy. “That doesn’t make any sense. You sure about this, girl?”

Betsy barked in response.

“Well, it’s worth a shot. You ready, River?”

Robert looked down at the baby. River turned and stared at him for a moment before answering.

“Pbbbt!”

Robert couldn’t help, but snort at this. “Alright. Looks like we’re going in then.”

Opening the door to his bedroom, Betsy quickly ran into the room and Robert was immediately met with the pile of things he had thrown in there earlier in an attempt to clean up for River. He had forgotten about that and was not looking forward to having to actually clean it up since he didn’t exactly enjoy passing out on his couch every night. Despite this, Robert had to admit that Betsy may have been right. It’s possible that Arnold could have fallen out and gotten mixed in with the rest of his things. He could’ve accidently cleaned it up by mistake and now, Arnold was somewhere in this giant mess.

“Looks like we better get started, River,” stated Robert. “The sooner we find Arnold, the sooner you can take a nap.”

“Ba?”

“That’s right, kid.”

Robert was about to start rifling through the mess of things on this bed, but then he felt Betsy pawing at this leg again. He looked down at the dog and his brow furrowed in confusion when he saw that she had put something next to his foot. What is that? Leaning down, Robert carefully picked up the object and realized that it was a stuffed animal. For a moment, he thought it might have been one of Betsy’s toys, but he soon realized that this wasn’t one that he recognized. No, Betsy definitely didn’t have a capybara.

“Arnold?”

Upon hearing his name, River immediately perked up. Robert held up the toy in front of her to confirm that it was him and she instantly began wiggling and clapping in excitement.

“Ba! Ba!” she squealed.

River reached out for Arnold and pulled him close to her, hugging him tightly. The two of them were finally reunited. She happily burrowed her face into the capybara’s side. Robert watched the two of them before turning his attention back to Betsy, who was looking away and well aware of what she had done.

“Betsy,” said Robert with his hands on his hips, “did you take Arnold?”

Betsy looked away, showing how guilty she felt about taking the stuffed animal. Robert gave her a faux stern look before crouching down. He then reached out a hand to pet her head.

“It’s alright, Betsy. I know you didn’t mean to and I’m sure River forgives you too.” He looked down at the baby. “Isn’t that right, River?”

Although she was distracted by Arnold, upon hearing her name, River looked up. Robert leaned in a bit closer so that she and Betsy could see each other. Once she saw Betsy, while holding Arnold in one hand, River used her other to pet Betsy’s head like she had done earlier. Betsy perked up after that, understanding that River had forgiven her.

“Alright. Now! We can take a nap,” stated Robert.

Making their way to the living room, Robert began taking River out of the carrier and the carrier off of him. By this time, River didn’t seem to be in the mood for sleeping anymore, but he knew she was probably tired after all of that.

Recalling how Craig had mentioned that putting on some music would help her fall asleep, Robert carried her with him as he headed towards the stereo to put something on for her. He didn’t have anything he thought was actually suitable for babies, but he figured he couldn’t go wrong with Tom Waits. “Tom Traubert’s Blues” was a classic afterall. He put the song on and made his way over to the couch. With his legs stretched out, Robert rested his head against a pillow and the armrest with River resting on his chest. At his feet, Betsy had made herself comfortable there.

“Alright, River,” said Robert. “Time for a nap.”

With the music playing softly in the background, Robert watched as River gave a yawn. She was hugging Arnold tightly to her. By the time the song hit the chorus, River’s eyes were closing and she was slowly letting herself be lulled to sleep. Originally, Robert had planned on putting her to sleep first and then he’d go about the rest of his day while he waited for Craig to come pick her up, but soon, Robert fell asleep as well. The day had been longer than either of them had expected. Tom Waits was still playing in the background.

* * *

“Robert, hey. Robert, dude. Wake up. Hey.”

Robert thought he was still dreaming when he heard someone talking to him, but when that voice was accompanied by someone shaking his shoulder, he awoke with a start, nearly falling off the couch.

“What? What happened?” Robert asked. He looked down and realized that there wasn’t a tiny person with him. He started frantically looking around the room for her. “Where’s River? Where is she? What happened?”

“Bro. Robert, bro!”

Robert shook his head and blinked when he realized that he was now face to face with Craig. On him was the baby carrier with River happily babbling.

“Craig? What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” said Craig. “Uh, so I knocked and I tried to call you too, but you didn’t answer. I found your spare under the mat and let myself in. Sorry about just barging in like that, dude.”

Robert waved a hand dismissively. “It’s alright. I should’ve answered anyway.”

“Anyway,” nodded Craig, “thanks for taking care of River for me. I didn’t mean to leave you with her for this long, but there was a lot to deal with.”

“It’s fine,” said Robert. “It wasn’t too bad. River’s a good kid.”

Robert looked at the small child. She giggled upon hearing her name and Robert smiled. Looking over to the rest of the room, he then realized that Craig had already packed up all of the things that he had taken out earlier into the baby bag. He was about to explain and apologize for that, but Craig spoke before he could.

“Thanks again for taking care of River for me, dude. I really owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”

“Anyway, we better head home now. I’m sure you’ve had enough of her for today. So see ya, bro,” said Craig with a smile. “Say goodbye, River.”

Craig then lifted up one of River’s little arms and made her wave at Robert. She giggled as her dad did this and Robert couldn’t stop himself from waving at her as well.

“See ya, kid. Be good. Okay?”

River seemed to nod at this and smiled even wider. Robert then waved to Craig who made his way out the front door. Just before he was about to leave though, Robert stopped him.

“Hey, Craig,” called Robert before he realized it.

“Yeah, bro?”

Robert looked down sheepishly. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this.

“If you, uh, ever need someone to babysit River,” he said awkwardly. “I wouldn’t mind too much.”

Craig chuckled at this. “I’ll keep that in mind. See ya, dude.”

Craig finally left and Robert got up to lock the door after him. He certainly didn’t expect to babysit today, but he also didn’t expect to enjoy it either. Kids weren’t usually his thing and they certainly didn’t care for him that much either, but exceptions were possible. He couldn’t believe he was going to admit this to himself, but he was going to miss having River around. He’d probably regret that if he had to take care of her 24/7 like Craig has to, but for now, he was just going to enjoy the fact that he had a good day with her.

Turning around, Robert was about to head to the kitchen for some food, but was met with Betsy staring at him instead. She seemed to be aware of the same thing he was.

“Don’t you dare say anything, Betsy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for reading this!  
> It would mean a lot to me if you could comment and/or kudos. If you can't think of something to say, feel free to just keysmash or say you want to leave another kudos. I don't care. I'm appreciative of all of your comments!
> 
> [dangcommaannie.tumblr.com](http://dangcommaannie.tumblr.com/)


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